“Trauma is not jut an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body” - Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score.
Trauma shows up in a variety of forms. It can present as panic attacks that surprise us, sleepless nights, or being overwhelmed and clouded for what feels like no apparent reason. It can also feel numb, like moving through basic functioning is more than you can put up with. It reveals itself in patterns that we can’t seem to shake, habits we hate, or a relationship with ourselves that we would not dare share out loud (because we wouldn’t talk to anyone else the way we speak to ourselves).
When we experience something traumatic we are forced into coping. This is an adaptive response. Our bodies (without our permission) implicitly find a way to keep us alive and get us through the moment (or weeks or years). When this happens we get stuck in the lower, survival, part of the brain. Sometimes these moments, this adaptive coping, gets stuck and stored away and we keep on keeping on. However, our filter is now changed by what happened and the way we had to cope to get through. This filter forms our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. These beliefs can be so subtle we might not even notice (“my voice is not welcome here”) or they can be bold and yell at us sometimes (“something is wrong with me”, “RUN”, “I am not loveable”).
Sometimes trauma is passed down through our family. We call this generational trauma. Our parents experiences impact how they moved through the world. Their beliefs and ability to be present for you when you were a child is a direct result of their own experiences. When parents have carried unresolved trauma the impacts are passed down to their children.
We need the support of others when we seek to rebuild attachment wounds, reintegrate the brain, and relook at old ways of coping. If you find yourself wanting to heal from trauma we would love to join with you on your journey.